What did you expect?
It’s
not that I don’t want to write about political issues; I can’t write about
political issues. I am too passionate
and I have too much respect for the level of discourse political talk actually
deserves to throw my anxiety-ridden hat in the ring. But I do have a million thoughts about how we
live together and how we interact with each other socially. I believe that understanding each other
socially, by that I mean our true motivations and feelings, is the best way to
iron out the differences that will always be there.
The girls kidnapped in Nigeria by
extremist monster assholes brought me here.
It is not the event itself, but the reaction to it. There was a conservative backlash, not
against the event, but how they perceived the liberal left reacted to this
ongoing tragedy. People like Limbaugh
sneered at the left for caring or participating in a Twitter campaign; they
believed liberals did this to make themselves feel better. He is so far removed
from humanity he doesn’t even understand the concept of sympathy. They actually discounted the natural human
instinct to sympathize, even in a situation where young girls were in serious
danger. Then I remembered: sympathy (and empathy) are difficult emotions that
are obscured by a lot of other, darker emotions.
Sympathy is an expression of an
emotion for someone else. That is the
most basic definition I could find. It
is the “someone else” that gets in the way for a lot of people. Maybe they don’t feel anyone has sympathy for
them, maybe they skipped that part of the Bible where Jesus said…everything he
said. My theory is, and it is hardly
new, that sympathy actually interferes with the belief system they have
constructed around them. Sympathy interferes
with manifest destiny and rugged individualism.
It truly asks a person to step outside of their bubble. Some people are just too scared to do so.
I have always tried to be
sympathetic, even in the face of resistance and sometimes, poor logic on my
part. I’m not trying to make myself out
to be a saint, because my sympathy has limits, but I guess I have been
self-aware of this emotion since I was very young. Here’s an example. I was about 19 and it was around midnight at
my mom’s apartment in a crappy part of town.
I woman knocked on the door; she was in tears. She said her boyfriend kicked her out of her
house and she needed money for a cab ride.
She had a baby with her. I was
leaving for a road trip the next morning with a friend of mine, and I was really
fucking poor. I had a twenty dollar
bill. I gave it to her.
After this, I didn’t have much money
for the trip, which kinda sucked. I told
all my friends about the story; because I’m a talker, and I could not believe
how much shit I got for giving that woman some money. I was a sucker, she was lying, why would I give
my only $20 to a stranger. I never felt
bad about it; not for a minute. Still
don’t. I don’t give a shit about the
money, and I don’t care if she ripped me off.
The odds were most likely that she wasn’t lying, and I helped somebody
on a shitty night. Maybe I helped, maybe
I didn’t. I tried. What did I lose?
Twenty stupid dollars.
The point is: I want to engage in
sympathy. I don’t want to second-guess
every human being that crosses my path and assume they are up to something. I don’t want to walk through life like
that. I know that I will be lied to
sometimes, but I want to live like this.
It is better. Those who screw me
over have to live tiny, miserable lives.
Let them keep the $20.
One does not need a stake in the
situation to have sympathy. That is the
point. Have you noticed how many times a
conservative figure will change their opinion on an issue as soon as it affects
them? The anti-gay legislator will
discover his son is gay and all of a sudden he is accepting of others. A woman will have a baby and suddenly be in
support of healthcare or schools. Why does that happen? They are emotionally stunted, and cannot
extend their feeling beyond their circle.
Someone has to reach in and touch them and show that pain that affects
others is still pain.
Also, this came to me recently. There is a large chunk of this country that
complains about what comes out of Hollywood.
It’s a propaganda machine, they are obviously left-leaning, they do not
share tradition values, etc. What stood
out to me is it is a large chunk of this country. It’s true, we are split pretty much down the
middle ideologically, and it seems odd to me that the money grubbing whores of
the big movie studios would ignore a market of 150 million people right in their
own backyard. Either half the country is
lying and they are just fine with the movies that come out, or there has to be
a reason why there just really aren’t any conservative-minded movies.
I think I know the answer. You can’t tell stories without sympathy or
empathy. It can’t be done. The biggest complaint anyone has about a
movie, no matter the genre, is that they didn’t give a crap about the
characters. You just can’t connect to a
character if the story if sympathy is absent. You have to care what happens to Harry
Potter. You have to care about the bunch
of twenty-somethings in the cabin about to be attacked by a slasher in a dumb
mask. People without sympathy don’t
write movies. Why would they? It is a sweeping generalization to be sure,
and I’m sure I glossed over a few stand-outs, but I bet there is something to
it.
I’ve heard that education is the key
to end this volatile, antagonistic streak we have in our culture. I agree, but I think sympathy might be the way
to get us there. It is okay to care
about someone who is not your responsibility.
It is a feeling, it is prayer, it is meditation, it is support. Maybe you don’t have any skin in the game,
and you actually won’t be doing anything to help, but the feeling counts for
something. Those of us with the backbone
and strength to actually do something start those journeys with feelings of
sympathy. For those of you who can’t or
won’t at least sympathize with your fellow man, I feel really bad for you. I sympathize.
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