The above photo features my stack of journals from 1989 to about 2002 or so. I also have a stack of miscellaneous notes, scratch pads and free writes that aren’t dated. (Mostly stuff I wrote during boring jobs, or while killing time in college.) I switched to the computer around 2003 and now have 200 or so pages of journals in a bunch of different files.
When I look at the giant box of old chicken scratch I am in disbelief. I can’t begin to calculate the hours...days...I’ve spent writing to absolutely no one. These weren’t novels or blog entries either, this was just stuff I needed to get out of my head. I don’t feel a sense of pride; I feel a sense of definition.
These books are my thought processes, recurring problems, ideas, hopes and dreams, facts, depressive ramblings and everything else that defines who I am. They are irrefutable because I wrote them. They aren’t Facebook profiles which only encapsulate what I want people to see. They are the raw version of one person.
Moi.
If you are a writer or you just love to write, I don’t have to be the one hundredth person in your life to tell you that you have to journal. But you should have one. Not a diary; although a diary is usually mixed in there somewhere. You aren’t reporting facts, you are working things out.
If you have no interest in writing, there is still a reason to use a journal. If you have a lot going on between your ears, and you wish the pensieve in Harry Potter books was an actual thing you could use to yank memories out of your head, you could use a journal for the same purpose. You can sort, purge, and accurately reflect.
Sorting is so much easier in a journal. You have to come to a conclusion, and you have way too many opinions and thoughts to do it while you sit in a chair and stare at the ceiling. Write it out. Make lists, outlines...graphs if you must. However your brain works; it is up to you. It becomes and action that employs two more senses, sight and touch. Journaling through a thought process also makes it easier to concentrate.
Sometimes you have emotions that make no sense at all to you or anyone else. Write them down., You can use a journal to purge these emotions and see them for what they are. I can’t begin to list how many times this has worked for me. Even when the result is “What the hell am I talking about?”, you still have accomplished something. You might make a breakthrough all on your own.
You can time travel with journals. Well, not really. You might remember what haircut you were sporting five years ago, but do you remember what thoughts you were having on your birthday? Christmas Eve? When you started your new job? I will give you a spoiler here, and you can see for yourself if you ever feel the need to go back and read a journal: We are constantly thinking the same dumb thoughts over and over again. Year after year, the same assortment of questions, wishes, dreams, hopes and self-criticisms pop up and a lot of times we don't even realize it. Why is this helpful? Well, for one, you can admit to yourself that you are just a mere human being and you should chill the hell out and give yourself a break. That’s kinda cool, right?
Another thing. Besides a couple of entries here and there, which resemble these blog posts really, no one has read any of this stuff. No one. Including me. Isn’t that strange? Hours and hours of work, thought...complete sentences...and no one knows about it. That’s not really anything particularly helpful, but it is unusual. I like unusual.
Now I find myself on the other end of journaling. I’ve used it for everything, but after about 20 years or so I started leaning on it too much. Most of my journal stuff had become wishing; akin to prayer. But it’s also because I started writing more large projects. (I also keep writing journals for each book project. What? It helps track my progress! Shut up!)
I have no preference. Keyboard, handwriting, a pretentious Underwood typewriter. It doesn’t matter. Give it a try and see how well it works. You may think it is a waste of effort, but think about how much time you have spent idly dwelling on the same thoughts. Maybe you could finally get a handle on them. At least you’d have something to show for it.
