I Love Time Travel – Part 18 - Timeline

"Psst...Can you believe how crappy this movie is?"  

This movie sucks.  I mean, super massive suckage.

Full confession, I did skim parts of this thing when the action began to drag.  I missed no major plot points, and I managed to save thirty minutes of my life not wasting my time with such an enormous pile of dumb.  Timeline was available on Netflix and for obvious reasons; I wanted to give it a go.  Michael Crichton wrote the original book, and although I never though much of him as a writer, some of his stories have made entertaining films.  This one fell alarmingly short.

I usually just try to concentrate on the time travel aspects of these films, only to see if they added anything to the genre.  Even corny movies can raise a few new questions and plot points. Not here. First, I need to address the style.  There are multiple characters with generic and predictable stories, but it is not as if they are terrible actors.  The late Paul Walker is fine; pre-300 Gerard Butler is in there, too.  My critique is how the scenes are shot.  Most movies have characters interacting with each other, and they are miked so we can clearly hear the dialogue. Overdubs are done later in post, but the point is, there is a camera capturing a story and what the characters are saying is supposed to be important.  Here, multiple characters are constantly talking over each other, sometimes three conversations at once, and we are not following any of them.  It is like a cocktail party.  The camera is capturing a high school stage play where kids are missing their cues.  It is a fucking mess.  It reminded me of my complaint of the Lethal Weapon series.  Ever notice how there was a lot of mumbling in those movies?  Lines delivered like someone was speaking them into his shirt instead of at us, the audience.  Then I checked who directed the movie.  Well, how about that, Richard Donner directed all the Lethal Weapon movies and this turd.  That must be a signature move.   Shitty signature, Rich.

That aside, the story is pretty lame and predictable.  Archaeologists at a dig in rural France.  The head scientist goes missing.  The team fines evidence at the dig that the scientist left behind.  Turns out a team of physicists accidentally discovered a wormhole that can sent someone back to on place at one time only:  France, 1357.  Ugh.  The team goes back to rescue the scientist.  Stuff happens.  Now, the wormhole detail is cool.  It is reminiscent of Primer in a way; however the problems for me arise when the archaeologists are confronted with the reality of time travel.  I think it takes them one whole minute of screen time to react. Then, they are cool with it and ready to go. I would love to see a time machine.  I still think I would freak the hell out if I actually saw one, let alone travel in one.

 The machine is a mirrored room on a platform.  Traveling consists of a bit of light show, then physical pain, and the next thing you know you are in a nondescript era of European history.  Each traveler has a marker, like a token on a string, they can use to come back. The marker’s effectiveness burns out in six hours, however that is not explained.  Also not explained is what exact date and time they are being whisked back to visit.  If it is a wormhole with the capacity to travel to a specific time and place, then wouldn’t the exact second, minute, hour, day, and date be fixed, too?  That seems like a page out of the Magic Pantry in King’s 11/22/63.  If that were true, they would be able to travel back to the exact time the scientist arrived to rescue him. But that’s not what happened. The place is slightly different and the time is usually “later” then a previous visit.

 I have to also mention that early in the film, one of the scientists finds a sarcophagus at the dig.  The carving is a knight and his wife holding hands; and the knight has a missing ear.  I bet you can’t guess that that detail has significance later!  Mind blown!

This movie doesn’t even deserve a synopsis, really.  Stuff happens, some guys die, the main characters get back, and one stays behind.  I hope I spoiled it for you so you will avoid it.  Time travel has its ups and downs and I’m glad there are so many attempts to make a good movie for us.  But in a few cases, the initial idea can only take a story so far and the resulting film, even in the hands of a visionary director, will fall flat.